Remember in your childhood playground when kids did skipping – up down, up down, jump in, jump out. Sometimes they’d do two ropes. Up down. In out. Up down. Out in. Down in. Up out. Like that? And you say, ‘Let me have a go.’ ‘You can’t,’ they reply. ‘One go.’ ‘Fine, go ahead.’ Up, down Ugh – you’ve tripped straight away. The girls look at you: ‘See? You useless!’
For me, conversation goes along similar lines. So it’s an early evening with a nice faded sun. There’s four women and me, chilled around a table, talking, and the conversation flows nicely. ‘I swam in this river.’ ‘Really? I swam in that river!’ OK I can contribute here, you think, I’ve swum in a river. Which one? You remember the one. OK, I even got the name, I’m ready. ‘I swam in a river.’ ‘What? We’re not talking about rivers, we let go of that ages ago.’ ‘Oh OK.’ They go back to talking. Two more women join them. So 1 & 3 are talking peach juice. 2 & 4 are talking wood glue. You try to read one conversation or the other. You’re just about got the flow of one, the wood glue one: you know something interesting about glue, it used to be made from cow bones, and you go to say that, but, just as you are about to open your lips, you notice somehow they’ve switched and it’s not 1 & 3 and 2 & 4 holding conversations now: it’s 1 & 4 and 2 & 3. They switched without missing a beat! So, you think, which one is the wood glue conversation now? You hear ‘drying time’. It must be 1 & 4 you decide, and you can make a contribution: ‘I love that superglue dries in seconds,’ you offer. ‘What? We’re talking about tears, when you’re upset. The drying time for tears.’ ‘Superglue dries like tears..?’ you mumble, lost. All four women stare at you. You hide behind you glass.